terriblymisguided | (no subject)

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obi-wan

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The first time Klaus walked into this club, he did it with the intention of getting absolutely plastered and finding someone to go home with for drunk, sloppy sex that would distract him for a few hours. He did not accomplish either of those things. Before he could get too drunk, he spotted someone interesting and was taken back to his place for some very fantastic mind-blowing sex that immediately set a bar so high that no one else can reach it.

If, on that first night, someone told Klaus that the next time he'd be walking into this club would be on the arm of that very same man, some three months later, he'd have laughed in their face.

But that is exactly what's happening. When Klaus realized how long they'd been doing this, he told Obi-Wan that he thought it would be fun to go back to that club for another dance. It only occurred to him hours later what he had just proposed: celebrating an anniversary. Thankfully, he was at home by the time it happened, and he was able to freak out and talk himself back down in private.

In Vietnam, Klaus counted the months. It was a way to keep track of how long he'd been away from his own timeline, and also how long he'd had Dave in his life. Each month was silently acknowledged, quietly celebrated and agonized over in equal measure, but it was never anything he gave a voice to, or talked to Dave about. He just counted them until he got to ten, and then there were no more.

By the time that Obi-Wan picks him up, Klaus has calmed down (thanks in part to a blunt he panic-smoked on his balcony) and dressed himself in black leather pants and a wine-colored button down shirt, with only the button at his sternum fastened. Seeing Obi-Wan makes him feel as excited as he did when he first mentions it, and he feels silly for getting himself so worked up. They're just going to have some fun.

They arrive at the club and get their wrists stamped, and Klaus is more then relieved to get inside where it's warmer. The music thumps in his chest and Klaus grins, bouncing a little as he grabs Obi-Wan's hand and drags him inside.

"Why did you come here that first night?" Klaus asks once they're at the bar, tilting his head to look at him curiously. "This isn't your usual scene."

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"Of course," Obi-Wan answers without hesitation. They stay over at Klaus's rarely, at least in part because the house is certainly less private, but he likes being in Klaus's room with him and he likes being able to close his eyes and reach out in the Force, feeling all these other presences around them. Knowing those he can feel are people who love Klaus, too.

He understands he's said something overwhelming tonight. It isn't as if he and Klaus haven't spoken at great length of those they've lost and how it's affected them. Obi-Wan doesn't believe loving someone again means he loves Satine any less and he has been through too much, lost too many people, not to make sure those he cares for understand that he does.

It's certainly a new approach. But then, this is an entirely new life.

"What would you like?" he asks when they near the taco truck before turning his attention to the person inside the truck. He smiles and says, "Hello. May I have two of the carnitas tacos and a carne asada vampiro."

It's possible Obi-Wan has stopped here once or twice. Possibly three times. The food is incredible.

"What? Oh." They're suddenly in front of the truck and Klaus has so many butterflies in his stomach that food seems kind of unfathomable at the moment, but he should probably eat. "I'll have the same."

He has to let go of Obi-Wan's hand so he can pay for the food, and Klaus shivers as if he's just registering the cold. Not wearing a jacket seemed like a good idea earlier in the night, since he didn't feel like dealing with it in the club, but now he's freezing. Or maybe he just wants to mold himself against Obi-Wan and never let go. He stares at Obi as he jokes around with the man inside the truck, letting his gaze travel from the swoop of Obi's hair to the curve of his smile, the crinkling at the corner of his eye as he laughs at something the man says.

God, Klaus loves him. He really does. He's been refusing to allow himself to think the word, mostly out of self-preservation, but he was only kidding himself. Obi-Wan makes some dumb joke as he takes his change, and Klaus swallows hard, feeling a little like he's in freefall.

"I love you," he blurts out, and knows that Obi-Wan wasn't expecting him to say it back. He wasn't going to hold it against Klaus if he didn't say it back. He could have kept it to himself, but why? Because he's scared? Because he lost someone? So did Obi-Wan, but he was brave enough to say it again. Klaus can be brave, too.

"Uh, do you want hot sauce?" The man in the truck says as he sets their to go bag down, and Klaus's eyes widen, cheeks flushing because he just told Obi-Wan that he loves him with the taco truck guy as witness, and he abruptly turns around to head for the house.

Obi-Wan watches Klaus's retreating back fondly for a moment before he turns back to the truck and says, "Yes, please. Some hot sauce would be wonderful, thank you."

"He okay?" the man asks as he puts a few packets of hot sauce into their bag, then folds it over again as he hands the bag to Obi-Wan.

"He's wonderful," Obi-Wan answers, his smile blooming further still. "Thank you again."

He takes the bag and follows the path Klaus had taken toward the house, not hurrying exactly, but not taking his time either. As he walks, he replays Klaus's words, knowing he'll hear them exactly as they were said for as long as he lives. He'll see the expression on Klaus's face, the way his eyes had widened just before he had turned away, and he is so very glad he can commit this all to memory. Only a fool would want to forget a single second of it.

"You ran off before I could check with you, so I got extra hot sauce," he teases when he's near to Klaus again, reaching out to catch his wrist with his free hand. "Come back here."

Klaus waits in front of the house for Obi-Wan to catch up, feeling terribly embarrassed and staring blankly head for a long moment. Did he just tell Obi-Wan that he loves him and then run away from him? Well, no. Technically he ran away from the taco guy, but still.

When Obi-Wan approaches, Klaus turns to look at him, wondering if he could blame the deep flush on his cheeks on the cold, but instead he just stares at the smile on his face, warm and fond and amused. Klaus put that there, as the idiot who loves him.

"I did do that," he admits, letting Obi-Wan reel him in by the wrist. The scent of the tacos wafts up as Klaus stares at Obi-Wan's face, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. It's an absurd moment, but kind of beautiful, too. "But I meant it."

Klaus kisses him again and then turns away, sliding his wrist out of Obi's grasp only so he can take his hand instead, digging out his keys with his other hand so he can unlock the front door. The bottom floor is quiet, but it's late, so that isn't much of a surprise. After a quick detour to the kitchen to get a few bottles of water, Klaus leads Obi-Wan up the stairs, grateful that they don't encounter any of his siblings.

It's just such a tender, private thing. Everyone at the club and the damn taco guy were bad enough. He doesn't want to deal with anyone who actually knows him, not right now.

Once they're in Klaus's room, he sets the bottles down and lets go of Obi-Wan's hand to turn and look at him. "We probably should have eaten in the kitchen, but I just wanted to be in here."

As they move through the house, Obi-Wan marvels at this new sense of calm in Klaus that exists despite the fact that he had turned and walked swiftly away from the taco truck. Had this been a few months earlier, they likely wouldn't have felt this way, but Obi-Wan doubts very much Klaus would be this still as they moved through the house. In fact, he doubts they would be here at all.

Klaus hasn't changed, but Obi-Wan thinks he's grown. He wouldn't take credit for that, he thinks it's more down to being here without the presence of his father and instead, truly connecting with his siblings, with people who care about him.

He isn't running away. Not even when he had, technically, run away.

"Oh, I'm quite happy with eating in here," he agrees. "Somehow I'm not sure I want to wake up your siblings right now. Five is easily stern enough that he may ask after my intentions toward you and that's not a conversation I'm prepared for at the moment."

Edited 2021-02-10 20:43 (UTC)

That makes Klaus laugh outright, and he has to reach out to brace himself with a hand on the wall as he takes off his boots. He undresses entirely and then digs out a pair of soft lounge pants to pull on, and then tosses another pair of the same at Obi-Wan with a blush on his face. He had bought another pair in the next size up, expressly for this reason.

"I doubt very much that Five cares enough about your intentions to bother you," Klaus says easily, shrugging as he pulls himself onto the bed, sitting crosslegged as he reaches for a water bottle. He knows that Five cares about him, because they wouldn't be sitting here in this room, in this house, if he didn't, but he doesn't think that Five cares about his romantic entanglements. "Just because he's old enough to be my father does that mean that he has any interest in doing so."

Klaus removes the tie from his wrist to toss his hair up into a messy bun, and then looks up at Obi-Wan with a soft smile. Being here in his room, away from any crowds, has calmed him. Obi-Wan's gentle smile has calmed him. Knowing that he's loved calms him. Yeah, it sort of makes him want to cry and jump off of the balcony, but he ignores those thoughts. He ignores everything that isn't Obi-Wan's indulgent smile, and the pants Klaus bought him in his hands. "Get changed so we can eat."

Obi-Wan catches the pants when Klaus tosses them to him and looks at them for a moment before breaking into a pleased smile. He undresses, laying his clothing over the back of a chair and then pulling on the soft pants Klaus had bought just for him. Jedi don't celebrate holidays, they don't celebrate birthdays, and so Obi-Wan has never really been given gifts, especially for absolutely no reason. But Klaus had thought of him, had bought these pants to give to him for when he stayed over here.

"These are very comfortable," he says as he settles on the bed across from Klaus. "Thank you."

His smile grows a little sheepish and as he reaches for the water bottle, he says, "I didn't mean to say it like that in the middle of the club. It just... came out." He hadn't planned it at all. The words had simply come out and while he had thought them many times before, he's not entirely certain what about that moment caused him to actually say them out loud.

"You're welcome," Klaus says, because Obi-Wan seems so genuinely pleased by the gift. It isn't about the pants, he knows. It's that Klaus thought of him at all, and Klaus understands that feeling. He still remembers how it felt to discover that Obi-Wan had bought the coffee that he liked, just so that it would be available for him.

Klaus reaches for the tacos, but pauses to look up at Obi-Wan when he speaks. The last thing he wants to do is have Obi-Wan regretting what he's said. Sure, maybe it wasn't the ideal place, but that's okay. He said it because he really wanted to, because he just couldn't help himself, and given that Obi-Wan who carefully weighs his words, it just makes it all that more special.

"I wish I had reacted better," Klaus admits, biting his lip as he fiddles with the knot on the take out bag. "It just took me by surprise. But-- thank you. For saying it."

He chuckles a little self-consciously and looks up at Obi-Wan from under his lashes. "And for, you know. Meaning it."

That makes Obi-Wan chuckle, warm and fond, and he reaches across the food to touch his fingertips to Klaus's chin, tipping his head back up so he can press their mouths together. It's a brief kiss, almost chaste, and when they part, he says, "You reacted exactly how you needed to. We're here, aren't we?"

He hadn't carried any expectations into the moment. Knowing Klaus has been cautious with love hadn't stopped him from saying it, feeling certain Klaus was feeling as deeply as he was isn't the reason he'd said it. In a rare moment, Obi-Wan had been entirely selfish. Telling Klaus he loved him -- and telling he loves him in the future -- was about how he felt in the moment. He had considered it may make Klaus uncomfortable, but then he'd said it anyway, deciding he would rather deal with the consequences of that potential discomfort than the regret of not having said it at all.

"I didn't tell Satine nearly enough," he says. "I thought, because it wouldn't or couldn't change anything, it would only hurt us both to say it, but if I regret anything in my life, it's that. She deserved to hear it. To know it beyond all doubt because I had been the one speaking the words instead of some memory of me at sixteen. You deserve to know it, too."

He smiles then, takes the bag from Klaus to undo the knot and says, "I love you, Klaus. You've made it very easy to love you."

When Obi-Wan tips up his chin, Klaus looks up at him a bit helplessly, eyes shining as he leans in for a kiss as soft as any that they've ever shared. It's beautiful.

He mentions Satine and Klaus reaches up to curl his fingers around Dave's dog tags, thumbing at the indentation of his name. Loving each other does not mean that they love the ones that they've lost any less. They've just made more room in their hearts to feel something new.

And then Obi-Wan says something truly remarkable. He says that Klaus is easy to love, and Klaus can't help the tears that well up in his eyes. Easy to love. It sounds impossible, but Obi-Wan says it like he means it, and Klaus can't imagine why. He's a mess. He's done such awful things. He's an addict who can't commit to anything.

But Obi-Wan loves him still, and he thinks it's easy. A tear spills down Klaus's cheek and he quickly wipes it away, laughing softly at himself. "I love you, too."

They are truly wonderful words to hear and Obi-Wan's smile grows beneath his moustache as he takes out their food, passing one of the tacos to Klaus before he takes one for himself. While he is very much a man who would prefer to demonstrate how he feels over saying it aloud, and thinks he and Klaus have both done a very good job of doing so this far, the words themselves still carry so much weight in a good way.

He has no doubt very little is going to change beyond their knowing for certain. They're not asking each other for anything else and he feels quite comfortable and content with this relationship they've settled into. Perhaps it's not traditional in how some may see relationships, but it's one they're both comfortable with.

That's what matters, he believes.

"Would it be terrible of me to say I also love tacos?" he asks with bright eyes before he takes a bite of his.

"I would honestly love you less if you didn't love tacos," Klaus teases, laughing a little as he accepts the taco Obi-Wan hands him. It feels good to say it out loud, comforting and thrilling all at once, and he's glad that Obi-Wan was brave enough to say it. Being with him makes Klaus feel brave. Or at least braver than he's ever been. Maybe it's because Obi-Wan believes in him. Klaus never knew how big of a different that would make.

He lifts his taco a bit, like he's toasting Obi-Wan, and then leans in to take a big bite. It's fucking spectacular, like they always are, and Klaus lifts his hand to cover his mouth as he speaks around a wad of carnitas and salsa. "This is one of the best nights of my life."

It's a declaration that's always true, but the nights seem to keep topping themselves, getting better and better, and he has the man across from him to thank for that, not to mention his family. It's kind of hilarious that he's the happiest that he's ever been, trapped here in this strange city, but he doesn't think that he'd ever give it up, even if he were given the choice.

"I was going to suggest the night is still young, as they say, but I don't think that's strictly true," Obi-Wan says with a laugh, taking another bite of his taco, enjoying himself immensely. They had taken their time at the club, especially with their side trip to the supply room, and while it isn't late exactly and while Obi-Wan gets by on very little sleep most of the time, the night certainly isn't young any longer.

But that's more than fine by him. Young or not, he knows whatever is left of their night together, it will be as wonderful as it's been so far.

"It's been one of the best of mine as well," he says a moment later before he reaches for his water. Setting down the taco on its paper, he takes a sip of water, then looks at Klaus, his smile almost crooked. "I know I've told you about the war, all the things I've been through, so it may seem as though my life has been difficult. It has at times, but in general, it's been a very good life. Very good. And this is still the most content I think I've been."

"That is very high praise," Klaus says with a bit of a lump in his throat. He doesn't think that he is the sole reason for this contentedness. Having another chance with Anakin is a large part of it, he's sure, along with the absence of a war. Plus the tacos.

But Klaus is a part of it, and that makes him very happy to know.

"I can say the same," Klaus assures him, taking another bite from his taco as he gathers his thoughts. "I had a lot of fun. Did lots of traveling, had a lot of good times, but I was never content. Not until now. Ben is alive. Most of my family is here, aside from Diego's dumb ass, but I can't help but to think that he'll show up, too. I'm mostly sober."

He finishes off the taco and reaches for a napkin, wiping his fingers before washing it all down with a drink of water before smiling softly at Obi-Wan, reaching out to poke at his knee. "And I have you."

"Yes, you do," Obi-Wan agrees. It's nice to think he's part of the reason Klaus feels more content, happier than he has in the past. Having his family certainly helps and while Obi-Wan truly hopes the reasons he's staying sober are for himself and no one else, he's happy to contribute to that as well. Klaus is the sort of man the world ought to see with fewer barriers in place. Without being dulled by drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. There is a place for fun, Obi-Wan would never fault anyone for that, but he understands and Klaus has explained to him, that the mind altering substances weren't always about fun and instead about trying to find some peace.

He hopes that peace comes a little easier with time.

"I sometimes wonder if I have siblings," he says thoughtfully. "The Jedi I grew up with are certainly family, but I wonder if my parents had any other children. I imagine they must have. Stewjon is a working class planet, full of farmers and miners. Children usually help on the farms."

Mostly sober. After he said it, he felt as if he had told a lie. Or maybe he just wants it to be true. His drug use has tapered off to lots of weed and the odd pill here and there, and his drinking isn't excessive these days, but he isn't sober. No one who puts whiskey in their coffee in the morning can be called mostly sober. But he's kind of leveled out. He isn't a stumbling mess. He's trying.

But he thinks that Obi-Wan understands that. Obi has also never seen him truly out of it. Happily drunk and a little high, yes, but never a strung out mess. Klaus never wants him to see that. He never wants to be that, not again.

Klaus listens to Obi-Wan speak with a wistful sort of smile. He's never given much thought to his real mother, the one who sold him to Reginald. He wants to hate her for doing that to him, but he can't. Suddenly giving birth to an unplanned baby that you didn't even carry around for nine months is probably traumatic enough.

"I don't know if my birth mother ever had more children," Klaus says with a shrug, brow furrowed thoughtfully as he reaches for another taco. "I don't think much about her at all, really."

He takes a bite and studies Obi-Wan, smirking a little as he swallows. "I suppose it wouldn't have been the Jedi way to go look for them once you had grown."

"You were taken from birth, correct?" he asks. "I wonder if that makes easier not to think of her." He's only musing, really, he has absolutely no idea what make anything in their situations better or worse. Because although Klaus may not be a Jedi, the way they were taken from their parents is certainly similar enough that Obi-Wan thinks he can understand it better than nearly anyone else here, except perhaps Anakin.

Anakin was too old to be trained. Obi-Wan doesn't regret it and truly believed at the time it was for the best, but he had already been understandably and deeply attached to his mother. In the end, that attachment had been the beginning of the end for him.

"I have only the vaguest memories of my parents," he says, then smiles. "And while it may not have been the Jedi way, I have to admit, I did go back to Stewjon as an adult. I didn't look for them exactly, I merely... went to see what I remembered. It wasn't much, as it turned out, and so I left."

"Yeah. When I think of her, it's only the idea of a mother. Literally the only thing I know about her is that she's German." He huffs out a laugh and shrugs. "Vielleicht habe ich deshalb die Sprache gelernt."

He learned German as a child, just like they learned Russian, and Spanish. Maybe it was Reginald's way of giving them some connection to their heritage, but that would be rather charitable of him, and that wasn't really the Reginald way. It's more likely that he juts wanted to cram whatever knowledge into them that he could.

He takes another large bite of his taco and washes it down, laughing as he looks over at Obi-Wan again. "Look at us. A couple of wayward orphans."

"With a collection of languages between us," he says, amused. He has no idea what Klaus just said to him and he supposes he could respond in Twi'lek or something similar, but he just likes knowing how much knowledge they possess. He's never felt like a stupid or a foolish man, he likes to learn, has done a great deal of reading and research in his life.

But there's still so much more to learn. Klaus could teach him a language or two.

"If you could teach me one of the languages you know, which one would it be?" he asks. "Not which would be easiest, because I do so enjoy a challenge, but which is your favourite? Or which would you most like me to learn?"

Given that he has few other demands on his time, unless he finally gets a job, Obi-Wan thinks learning a new language would certainly be worthwhile.

"How bizarre is it that we both speak English?" Klaus asks with a laugh, though it hits him that that's probably because of what Ben told him. He quickly whisks the thought away and his brain just lets him because he still doesn't know how to process that, so he won't!

"Hmm, that's a good question." He finishes off his taco as he thinks about it, taking another long drink before shifting to lay across the bed, resting his head on Obi-Wan's thigh. "French is very sexy. So is Spanish."

A soft, almost surprised smile graces his face when he thinks of a poem he revisited very recently, one that seems perfect for tonight, so he tips his head back to look up at Obi-Wan. "Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde, te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo."

Obi-Wan won't know what he's saying, but he thinks the love and passion he feels are evident in the words.

"Where I'm from it's called Galactic Basic and it looks different in writing, but yes, they are essentially the same language, aren't they?" he asks as Klaus settles onto his thigh. He brushes back a stray curl that's escaped from his bun, then smiles down at him as he considers the languages he knows.

When he speaks, Obi-Wan has no idea what the words mean, but he listens intently all the same, enjoying the rising and falling cadence, the emotion Klaus infuses into each and every word he speaks. It's lovely, truly lovely, and he doesn't know if this is French or Spanish or something else entirely, but he knows he could listen to Klaus speak this way for as long as he would want.

"That's beautiful," he says, curling down so he can press an upside down kiss to Klaus's mouth where he's lying in his lap.

Klaus lifts his head to smile into the kiss, reaching up to cup Obi-Wan's cheek and deepen it a little, tasting salsa and lime on his tongue. It's slow and lazy and Klaus hums his approval as he pulls back, lips curled into a pleased grin as he lays his head back on Obi-Wan's thigh.

"Te amo means I love you in Spanish," Klaus says, because he isn't sure that he could recite the poem in English quite yet. He had thought of Obi-Wan instantly when he read it, and that scared him at the time. It still scares him now, but not in quite the same way. "In French, it's je t'aime. Both very beautiful languages, but I do have a certain fondness for Dutch."

He feels almost giddy, like he can't stop saying it now that he's allowed himself to do so, and he strokes his fingertips through Obi-Wan's beard as he bites his lip in amusement. "Ik hou van jou."

Edited 2021-02-13 07:26 (UTC)

"Te amo," Obi-Wan echoes. "Je t'aime. Ik hou van jou."

All easy enough to remember. Words he can use at other times, just to remind Klaus both of how he feels and that he listens to him, enjoys listening to him, absorbing any and all information he might want to share. Obi-Wan has been a voracious learner all his life, even in his more rebellious years -- and learning alternative interpretations of the Jedi teachings had been part of that rebellion -- and it hasn't waned with his arrival in Darrow. If anything, it's grown, and he wants to learn more, to understand more. He wants Klaus to teach him.

"Ma sareen," he says to Klaus, then smiles. "That means my sweet in Ryl. I believe their expression of love involves more sign language I'm not entirely familiar with, but I did learn that particular expression."

Obi-Wan repeats them all back to him and Klaus grins widely, feeling the warmth in his chest spread until he doesn't even know how he could possibly contain the affection within him. There is still that tiny voice in his head telling him that he doesn't deserve this, that he'll screw it up somehow, but he's happy enough that for now, it's easily drowned out.

"Ma sareen," Klaus repeats, eyes crinkling at the corners as he curls his hand around Obi-Wan's bicep, sliding it up and down slowly. It's such a beautiful moment, the two of them resting together on Klaus's queen sized bed in the house he shares with his family. Most of the people that Klaus has ever loved are under this roof, and they love him in return. Sometimes it's almost enough to make him want to weep.

"Are we done eating?" Klaus asks with a slightly mischievous smile. "Because I think that I'd really like you inside of me before we go to sleep." He lifts his hand to rest his index finger against Obi-Wan's mouth, chuckling happily. "But unlike earlier, we'll need to be quiet."

"Oh, I think I would happily be done eating for such a thing as that," Obi-Wan answers with a slowly blooming smile behind Klaus's finger pressed to his lips. He pulls away only to clean up their mess, setting it all aside, and then he leans back again, rising onto his knees so he can get properly near enough to Klaus to kiss him.

There will be time later, he knows, to meditate on all this. To try and better understand how he feels and how it fits into everything he's always been told. He understands it may seem as if he's trying to shape what he used to believe to a new life and Obi-Wan will have to meditate on whether or not that's true. If it is, he doesn't believe it to be a negative thing necessarily. A part of life is growing, changing, understanding things better. If one is not open to understanding new and different aspects of the galaxy, that, he believes, is a good way to become lost.

This is a learning curve for everyone, he thinks. Not only Darrow, but life itself. It's a lesson he's glad to still be taking part in.

"Quiet now," he murmurs against Klaus's mouth as he kisses him again, catching his lower lip between his teeth.